So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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