If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
