A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I love black thongs
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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