I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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