you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Your cock deserves a montage
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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