I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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