Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
