I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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