Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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