I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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