the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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