His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
smell my finger.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
