I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
