Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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