I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
