that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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