Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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