Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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