its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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