we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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