pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
