Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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