Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
this hospital has no fireball
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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