you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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