...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
