New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
