I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
