I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
This is my gift to your gina
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
