i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
