When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
