she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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