I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
