Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
