i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
