I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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