I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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