I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
