good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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