I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
