He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Also, beer. Big fan.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
