rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
