Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
