woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Everclear isn't food dammit
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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