what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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