You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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