I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
