people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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