I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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