FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
