would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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