I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
