Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
