Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
In other news, I just burned my penis
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
