dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
