I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize