I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
