yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
