i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just invented taco cereal.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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