I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
