This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
