its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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