he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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