Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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