Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
