Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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