I just pynch a tree in the face
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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